Honesty Verses SelfPreservation
by Nymph Du Pave
Summary: CLex: COMPLETE. All 11 Chapters are up. Clark starts being honest about everything. Please R&R, I would love to hear what you guys think.
1. Chapter One

**TITLE: Honesty Verses Self-Preservation: A Study in the Life of Clark Kent  
  
AUTHOR: Nymph Du Pave  
  
FANDOM: Smallville  
  
PAIRING: Lex Luthor/Clark Kent  
  
RATING: R for possible language and future sexual content.  
  
SUMMARY: Um, yeah. Clark suddenly starts telling the truth about a few things.  
  
DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine no matter how hard I try. And I do so want them all in their crazy, melodramatic glory.  
  
WARNING: Sappy fluff with a little unintentional (and by that I mean the muses snuck it in there while I wasn't looking) CLana. NO! Don't go! Please, I know CLana is unnatural and against the laws of nature and sometimes just down right disturbing, but please, the CLex might be worth it. Maybe not. It's just a story.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This WAS supposed to be a couple hundred words. No more than five hundred. Just a little drabble while I was at work. This was supposed to be an entirely different plot. But the plot bunny got sick and a donkey was filling in.  
  
FEEDBACK: You know what it is. It do so gimme the heebee-geebees. But in a good way. So, please, gimme the heebee-geebees.**

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**Chapter One**  
  
"I am going to hold an amateur singing night this Friday." Lana's eyes lit up. "Maybe I can get a Kent to join!"  
  
"No, way, Lana. Uh-uh."  
  
"I didn't mean you, Clark." Her 'why the hell would I ask you' tone made Lex choke on his coffee. He tried to hide the laugh, but Clark glared at him anyway. "I meant your Dad since he was in that band-thing when he was younger. He can play an instrument for the kids."  
  
Lex smirked. "If it's for kids why can't Clark join?"  
  
Lana looked him over, pretending to actually consider the option. "Well, he's got the same maturity level."  
  
"How old are the kids?"  
  
"All the way to about 10."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"First of all: haha." Lex's smile was like a sexy fist to the gut. "Second: Lana that was like a century ago. But I'll ask him," he added off her look. "And, just so you know, Lana? I have a damn beautiful voice."  
  
She gave him a sarcastic nod, exaggerated expressions included.  
  
Lex stared at him for a moment, the cleared his throat. "I'd love to hear your voice sometime."  
  
Clark laughed, trying to hide his shyness. Lex was probably the one person in the world he could never sing around. "The acoustics probably have to be just right. I've only ever heard it myself in the shower."  
  
And there it was. The electricity. The chemical shock that made it so tasty and yet dangerous to be around Lex. The older boy hadn't moved, but Clark suddenly felt both too close and too far away. Lex's eyes for the briefest of moments were telling him they should just jump in the shower and see just what kind of range Clark's singing voice could get to. Or screaming voice. Either way. He could tell for sure, in that minuscule second of seconds that Lex wanted to-  
  
A crashing plate brought the moment to a halt and Lana started. Clark looked uncomfortably around and assessing that the moment had gone unnoticed looked back to his friends. Lex looked bored and disinterested just as he did after every time they shared a look and it shot Clark's complete assurance to the bottom of some well in China.  
  
If they had wells there.  
  
Lana gave Clark an uneasy smile that had his heart doing flips. Had she noticed?  
  
"Okay, guys, I'm gonna get back to work." He uncomfortable tone told him that she had indeed and he panicked inwardly. He was going to have to talk to her, not to assure her of anything, but to get her assurance. If he was right, then Lex was interested in him. Right?  
  
"Listen, Clark. I have to get back to work as well. I have... stuff to do."  
  
The pat on his shoulder as Lex left the Talon was nice and warm, leaving a tingly-spot, but Clark didn't take his eyes of Lana's back. He was formulating a mini-plan and lower his level of sexual excitement. Both took all the will power he had.  
  
What had Lana been talking to him about recently? Honesty?  
  
Yeah.  
  
**more...**


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**  
  
"Back for more coffee and muffins?"  
  
Clark grinned. "You know how much I love those crumbcake thingies."  
  
Lana eyed him suspiciously. "I'm closed. What do you want, Kent?"  
  
Despite his more fierce and overwhelming attraction for Lex he was still a man and the way Lana was looking at him right now... He knew she was just being playful, not really flirting, but she was looking up at him with her long hair swept up and her dark eyes peering from behind her long lashes...  
  
"Um, yeah, I came here to talk. I've got a couple of questions."  
  
There was a loud crash, and Lana closed her eyes. Her expression was one of purely-induced patience. "What did you break now?" Her tone was light and joking.  
  
"I'll replace it." Lex's gruff reply startled Clark. What was Lex doing here with Lana so late at night? It was almost ten. He had been shocked when Chloe had told him Lana was still at work, but now he was just hoping it wasn't the reason his worried heart was supplying. Because they had been spending a lot of time together under the guise of business.  
  
"Is that Lex?"  
  
Lana rolled her eyes. "I wish to Puckernuts it wasn't."  
  
Clark refrained from snickering at Lana's long gone first and only dog's name. She glared at him. "Go ahead."  
  
He laughed.  
  
"You know when your eight years old you don't realize what certain things mean-"  
  
"I can't believe Nell let you name it that."  
  
"Yeah, well, her boyfriend at the time thought it was hilarious." She beckoned him inside and instead of coming he just stood there.  
  
"Can I talk to you?"  
  
"Why do you think I-"  
  
"In _private_." The way he whispered _private_ made him feel like he was twelve years old again, talking to Pete outside the Ross's house at dinner-time hiding the porn magazine he'd taken from Brian Tucker's locker.  
  
He blushed but still stepped back, hoping Lana would fill the space he'd made.  
  
She did and shut the door behind her. "What is this about, Clark?"  
  
Ok, this was the hard part. _Just get it out in the air,_ he thought. _Just ask her if she notices anything about you and Lex. Lana _wants_ you to start trusting her and this would be perfect. Not only would it prove that you trust her, it would also get her off your back for a little bit. Give you some reprieve._  
  
"Is there something going on between you and Lex?"  
  
He wondered if he looked half as shocked as she did about the question. It was sort of supposed to come out like that, only the 'you' part somehow substituted the 'me'.  
  
"Excuse me?" She looked pissed, as if she had expended all her patience on Lex and was plumb out when Clark showed up.  
  
"It's not what you think, Lana."  
  
"What are you even... Are you crazy, Clark?"  
  
"No, it's not that."  
  
"He's my boss and Lex Luthor at that-"  
  
"It was for me, Lana. I was asking for me."  
  
"Well, I got that, Clark."  
  
"No," he shook his head. "I was asking..." He trailed off. Nothing he was saying nor thinking was making much sense. He loved Lana as a friend and was very attracted to her body and her personality. He knew she felt the same for him, knew it right then and, if he had known a couple of years ago, back at the end of middle school or even the beginning or high school, things would no doubt be very different now.  
  
But he wanted Lex. Facing the truth in order to tell someone else was more difficult then facing all by himself. Probably because he'd been hiding behind it all for so very long. His attraction to Lana provided a very nice rack to which he could hang his distraction.  
  
But not if he wanted to change directions. Not if he wanted to get somewhere for a change. And honestly, all the circles he was going in were making him dizzy.  
  
"I wanted to know because I'm-"  
  
"Attracted to Lex," Lana finished, her whisper slow and awe-filled.  
  
He just nodded, burying his hands in the jacket meant to cover him from a chill he didn't feel. He wanted to look anywhere else, anywhere but at her pretty face, a face that had once filled him with desire, but to do that would mean he was ashamed about his attraction to Lex and he wasn't. He was just the opposite. Years of infatuation had turned into something more. Sure he loved Lex as a friend; Clark loved all his close friends. He was just hoping that it could mean something more.  
  
"Are you going to say something, Lana, or do we just stand here until Lex joins the party and I grow even more vulnerable."  
  
She shook herself out of the funk and looked at Clark, pity in her eyes. "I am so very sorry, Clark."  
  
He frowned and tried to keep his heart from sinking. "What do you know?"  
  
"LEX!!" a voice screeched happily.  
  
He felt his stomach become one huge knot. It was Victoria Hardwick.  
  
Suddenly Clark knew just why Lana's patience was up.

**more...**


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**  
  
What had his father said about people like Victoria? Buy them for what they were worth and sell them for what they thought they were worth? He'd get a king's ransom for her. But would Lex be the one pocketing the change?  
  
"Yeah, so that was on my father's midsized boat."  
  
"The one with the..." Lex trailed off trying to remember something.  
  
"Yeah, with the thingy on the tip."  
  
"That works, I guess."  
  
"You know the one that we went-"  
  
"Red sea diving and saw all of those-"  
  
"The crashed-"  
  
"Sunken boats."  
  
Victoria smiled. "Right."  
  
They shared an intimate look and turned back back to Lana and Clark. There was no way the to of them could ignore the thick layer of discomfort in the Talon. Lana was smiling as politely as ever, but underneath the table her napkin lay in a thousand fiercely shredded pieces. Clark was trying desperately not to look at Lex or Victoria's breasts which were clinging to the outskirts of her plunging neckline like she was clinging to Lex.  
  
He had noticed Lex trying to catch his eye the entire time Clark had been there, but didn't care. He didn't feel the slightest bit guilty that he hadn't met Lex's eye all night. Vicky was a whore that had again and again proven where her loyalty stood. He didn't understand what she was doing back here with Lex or why everything seemed peachy between them. He didn't care. He just wanted to leave, go home where he could mope in peace.  
  
Lana stretched and checked the time. "Wow. It's late."  
  
Lex caught the drift and stood. "I should really be heading back to the castle."  
  
Vicky stood up, turning her body toward Lex and stretching. "Am I coming with you?"  
  
"What's the matter? Your hotel only rents rooms by the hour?" He thought it was very, very unlike him to say what he was thinking, and everyone's expressions told him they thought so too. However, Vicky wasn't to be trusted. He didn't know where he'd found a pair, but he was going to hold on to them as long as he could.  
  
Lana was looking at him, her mouth agape her eyes wide. Vicky looked insulted and Lex... he looked amused.  
  
Though that gave Clark a good feeling in his stomach he still didn't meet Lex's eyes.  
  
"Quite the sense of humor, Kent. He meant nothing by it, Vicky, it was-"  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
The room was that kind of thick quiet that no one ever wants to hear and Lex now had an unreadable expression on his face. Lana urged him with her eyes to shut up. He was on a role, though.  
  
"What did you mean by it, then?" Vicky asked, her voice all silk and venom.  
  
"I was implying that you're a whore."  
  
Lex's mouth dropped open and his eyes were staring right at Clark. Asking for him to explain, for him to stop or to at least look at Lex.  
  
He refused to do so. Vicky looked stumped for something to say, bewildered which, if he listened to Lex's stories about the skanky vixon, didn't happen often. Or, really, at all. He supposed it was because it was so utterly unexpected.  
  
He stood, kissing Lana on the cheek and whispering "Sorry." He walked toward the front door, stopping right by Vicky and looking her straight in the eye.  
  
"You don't deserve, Lex."  
  
Lex didn't say a thing, but Clark saw that the older boy was breathing harder than normal. And Lana was watching Lex with an odd expression on his face.  
  
He just didn't care. He walked out of the Talon.

**more...**


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**  
  
Lana followed him out of the Talon. "Clark I have an idea!!"  
  
He crossed the street to the truck, not wanting to talk. "Can we talk later, Lana?"  
  
She caught up with him. "That was rude and so uncalled for and I can't believe you did that!"  
  
"Please, no Lana-morals right now." He reached the truck and dug around in his pocket for his keys. "I'm not in the mood to do the good thing."  
  
"I loved it!"  
  
He frowned and turned to her.  
  
"Don't get me wrong," she laughed. "It was one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever been put through, and you owe me big time, but I am getting used to that around you."  
  
"Gee, getting used to being uncomfortable around me. Thanks."  
  
She shrugged, unapologetic. "And I have an idea, but first I want you to promise me something."  
  
He turned around and leaned up against the truck door, sighing. He didn't want to be here right now. "What?"  
  
"That we'll talk about how you're different."  
  
_Oh, shit._ Could his alien guts turn into cold steel? Is that what just happened?  
  
"Clark."  
  
"I don't know what-"  
  
Out of nowhere she kneed him in the crotch. He was too stunned to do anything but double over and pretend, thinking he wasn't the only one to have grown a pair tonight.  
  
He remembered the time that Chloe and he and Pete were all wrestling years ago and Chloe accidentally got poor Pete in the nards with her foot. He was out of activities that called for moving for the rest of the day.  
  
Clark was trying to look pained but he was just too not involved to put full effort into it and Lana bent over and whispered in his ear. "Promise me or I let you try and get Lex by yourself."  
  
He closed his eyes and leaned back up against the truck.  
  
"I know the meteors affect you, Clark, I know they do. Come on, I might have my head up my ass a lot of the time, but I would have to be blind not to see it."  
  
He was silent, praying no one else thought this.  
  
"How many other people around here are odd, huh? Chloe's right about the rocks, I believe her now and people unnaffected by the meteors are in the minority." She waited. When his silence continued she became exasperated. "Do you really think I would hate you or tell someone?"  
  
No, he didn't. "Fine, but not now, ok?"  
  
"Whatever you want. I'll sit at the bottom of a well if it means you'll trust me."   
  
"Lana-"  
  
"I'll sit in an attic holding a grumpy, hyper Jack Russell and twelve snapping turtles listening to Bob Dylan CD's until my brain is convinced he's God, if it means you'll trust me."  
  
Disturbing Images R Lana. "I do. I will. Ok? So what is this idea?"  
  
The door to the Talon opened and they watched Lex and Vicky come out.  
  
"Perfect timing."  
  
"Lana you're downright giddy. What in the-"  
  
"Shut up and kiss me."  
  
He looked at her for a moment, his face scrunched. "Are you crazy?"  
  
"You give every lucky girl that face before you stick it to 'em?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Ex-lay ooking-lay is-they a-way. Iss-kay, ee-may."  
  
"I'm horrible at Pig Latin, Lana."  
  
"Do you trust me?"  
  
"Yes." Resolute. No doubt there.  
  
"Kiss me."  
  
He did. He bent down and kissed her on the lips, trying not to get to intimate. He pulled back quickly.  
  
"That was pathetic, but it got him intrigued. Now for the real show." She grabbed him by the belt and pulled him close, laying it on him. For a minute he tried to hold back. This was Lana and she was doing this for some unknown reason; not because she wanted to but because she wanted to help him. He tried to imagine this as someone else, as something else. As if he wasn't kissing the sexiest girl he knew, but he couldn't. She was stabbing his lips with her tongue and tugging on him insistantly so he decided to give in. She let this happen. This was her idea.  
  
He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in closer, needing to feel body warmth. He'd kissed her a few times, knew she was good at it and while neither of them loved each other the way you would if you wanted to spend the rest of your life together, they were very much attracted to each other. And lonely.  
  
He felt her respond, felt a hand dive into his hair. When she moaned he lost it. He pushed her up against the truck door, inadvertantly giving Lex a full view of the scene, and pounded her mouth with his. The back of her head beat a soft rhythm against the window and he let his hand delve into her hair. She bucked up against him and he growled on instinct.  
  
After a minute Lana pushed on his chest. While he didn't want to, he stopped and looked down.  
  
"Wow," Lana whispered.  
  
"Yeah." She turned and blushed. His eyes followed hers in time to see Lex standing alone and looking away quickly, as if he'd been caught watching. Vicky stormed out of the Talon again, _this_ time with her purse and jacket.  
  
Clark turned back to her. "Now. Please explain what that does. Other than make me horny."  
  
She smiled. "You're very open tonight."  
  
"Well, you just kicked me in the crotch and demanded that I tell you everything."  
  
"Earlier too, though."  
  
"You mean with the golddigger."  
  
"And with me, when you told me about how you felt for Lex."  
  
"Yeah. I had plans. Then that vulcher with breasts came and ruined it all."  
  
"You refusing to say her name?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
SHe giggled. "It was awesome watching you verbally attack her. I mean it wasn't anything big, but for someone like you, that was almost full-out bitch fight."  
  
Vicky got into the Porsche. "Hey, you two!" called Lex. "Get a room, huh?" Lex called out good-naturedly, but to Clark it sounded strained.  
  
"See?"  
  
Clark looked at Lana as Lex drove off. "See, what?"  
  
"You heard his voice. The disappointment."  
  
Clark backed away. "He's going home with _that_. I'd be disappointed too. She'll probably bitch all the way there."  
  
Lana shook her head, smiling gently. "He's jealous."  
  
A flash of hope entered his heart. "You think?"  
  
"I know, Clark. When you told Vicky she didn't deserve Lex... Oh, man, you should have seen his reaction."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Lana was quiet, thinking for a moment. "You know Chloe reads romance novels, right?"  
  
He smirked. "Do I ever. Pete and I were over one night studying when she went to the bathroom. Pete had me use my x-" He broke off.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have to tell you some of this later, but we searched her underwear drawer." Lana looked disturbed. "Not like that. Pete wanted us each to have a pair on our heads when she came back which I thought was great."  
  
Lana rolled her eyes, but he saw humor there.  
  
"So we found her stash of romance novels. We each took one and started reading it. When she got back it was better than if we'd had the underware on our heads. She was mortified."  
  
Lana nodded. "I went in there to borrow a bra one time."  
  
Clark's eyes widened. "Girls actually borrow each others undies?"  
  
"Some of us. Not all, but Chloe and I are both anal about keeping ours clean and we are really close so-" She stopped, narrowing her eyes. "What? What's that look?"  
  
"That's really hot."  
  
"Clark."  
  
"Are you wearing hers now?"  
  
"Clark, Lex's jealousy, his expression, focus."  
  
He blushed. "Sorry."  
  
"Anyway, I found her stash and wasn't surprised. We started sharing them. We are both addicted. We love to trash the horrible ones and we die when there's a good one. So we are attuned. For some girls, me not Chloe, life is like this one long romance novel. And I couldn't give a crap about what people think about that. I like my life. But I'm attuned to the presence of unrequited love."  
  
"Because you've read about it in books." He couldn't hide the suspicious tone in his voice.  
  
She nodded. "Tons. You can make fun of me, but when you read enough, you see it everywhere."  
  
"Even where there is none."  
  
"What does Chloe see everywhere, Clark? The meteors. Has she been wrong?"  
  
He shrugged. "Only once and all of us thought he was smoking the stuff."  
  
"When you said 'You don't deserve, Lex.' I looked right at the man. His breath hitched and his face got... it went soft and really vulnerable. His eyes got all heavy-lidded. All symptoms of lust, sure, and if you were blowing in his ear and licking his neck, then I would say it was just lust. But you were standing up to some bitch that has walked all over him before that has just decided to drop in on him unwanted and uninvited-"  
  
"Uninvited?"  
  
"You were being the knight, Clark."  
  
He smirked. "Does that make him the damsel in distress."  
  
"No," she shook her head. "That just makes him a guy in love that happened to be there when his best friend slash object of affection tried to stand up for him."  
  
"In love?"  
  
"Don't you think that's what you feel?"  
  
He shrugged. He knew he was but it was a little intense to tell Lana.  
  
"Clark?"  
  
He turned and unlocked the truck. He had to go home and think. "Yes, I think I am."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Lana?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you wearing Chloe's panties?"  
  
"Clark-"  
  
"Just say yes, it doesn't have to be the truth."  
  
"Go home."

**more...**


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

Clark lay awake, tossing, hot under the covers and over the covers and even naked. His mind was just mulling over too much and it wasn't allowing him to sleep. Though he and Lana had no intentions of persuing anything past the kiss, it had been a damn good kiss. He was a male after all, a teenager and _everything was hormonal_. Though he prefered another form, her softness was nice and her breasts pressing against his chest had been a great sensation. Had she not pushed him away, he might have copped a feel.  
  
This was after all a new him. The possibilities were endless.  
  
He turned over again in his bed, unable to sleep with so much on his mind. He wanted Lex, would like to have sex with Lana, loved Lex, hated Vicky, wanted to be with Lex...  
  
His brain was like a broken record and his erection was so hard it was uncomfortable, but everytime he tried to do something about it he got an image of Lex with Vicky. Lex's hands on her body. Lex's mouth on hers, Lex tasting her skin, her mouth on Lex's long, hard-  
  
"Fuck this." He ripped off the covers and got dressed. He left the house and sped over to Lex's all the while thinking this was a very bad idea.  
  
He stopped in front of the gate and used his x-ray vision to find Lex's bedroom. He wasn't in it. Clark felt a little better, but tried not to get his hopes up. Both Lex and Vicky were the types to go ahead and have sex wherever they damn well felt like it.  
  
_Not in the bathroom, or the foyer, or the kitchen. Garage? Nope._  
  
He kept looking until finally he laid eyes on Lex's study. And he should have checked there first. They were on the pool table. For some reason this angered him worse than the bedroom would have. That was _his_ fantasy. How many times had he played pool with Lex and imagined him stalking over to the other boy, tossing him on top and ravaging him until every last nerve ending sung?  
  
But still, it was Lex half naked and he couldn't tear his eyes away. He watched as Vicky, on the bottom, took Lex's shirt the rest of the way off. Clark's breath became ragged as he saw all the smooth, porcelin skin. Skin he'd dreamt of touching, of running his tongue over as Lex squirmed beneath him, begging for me. Anger burned in the pit of his stomach as Victoria ran her nails down Lex's sides, turning the wan skin pink in rows.  
  
He leaned his head on the rails and gripped them with his hands, trying to calm himself. All Lex was wearing were his slacks. Victoria was already naked. They are talking and Clark tuned in his ears too, missing them here and there but finally finding just the right level.  
  
"-dinner."  
  
"I know."  
  
Lex kissed the valley between her breasts.  
  
"You don't want me do you?"  
  
Lex ground into her and Clark panted. Lex was so sensual. "What does it feel like?"  
  
"That doesn't mean you want me. You're different tonight. You're..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Different. What is it?"  
  
Lex shrugged. "Does it matter?"  
  
Vicky said nothing, instead dipping her hand past the waistband of his pants.  
  
Clark wanted to run in there and pop Vicky's head off like some sort of Deranged Brit Barbie Doll, but he couldn't stop looking at Lex. He loved the boy's reaction. Eyes shut, hips pushing forward, strong back muscles flexing.  
  
"You're different," Vicky whispered.  
  
"So you keep saying."  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"I don't like you," Lex said, eyes still shut.  
  
"You never have."  
  
"And still you're here."  
  
Clark didn't understand why Lex would be having sex on a pool table in his study with a women he would openly admit not liking while having said sex. And to her, not someone else.  
  
"But you've never pretended I was someone else before either."  
  
Clark's heart raced. Was Lana right?  
  
Lex's eyes had opened to that. "You want the old Lex? Fine."  
  
He backhanded Vicky hard across the face and Clark felt at odds, wondering what would make Lex lose his cool and hit a woman and cheering for him- until Vicky moaned. "Yeah!"  
  
"Shut up, bitch." Lex's hand went to Vicky's throat. "You want this? Huh?"  
  
She nodded shakily and gasped.  
  
"Unzip my slacks."  
  
Clark turned away, not able to stomach the rest. While the domination thing was really hot, Lex's eyes had cooled off. He didn't seem into it at all and Clark felt horrible for Lex. He wanted so much to be able to touch Lex and give him what he wanted.  
  
Before he knew what was wrong, he was at Chloe's. It was easily one in the morning, but Lana was sitting on the couch, reading something. All the lights were off except for the one small reading lamp next to her.  
  
Clark had to do something to get his mind off of Lex and telling Lana the truth about himself seemed just that. He promised her he would, and this seemed like the perfect time. He tapped on the window, not wanting to awake and attract Chloe or Gabe to this. Lana looked up from her book and seemed startled to see him. He crooked his finger and she got up. A second later she was opening the door for him.  
  
"I just came over-" He stopped when she blushed and looked away. "What?"  
  
She coughed. "You're, uh, excitement, Clark."  
  
"Wha-" His erection. "Shit." He took his flannel over-shirt off and bunched it in his hands in front of his pants. "Listen, I made a promise to you that I would tell you the truth and I want to."  
  
"Right now?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"But you're- you know."  
  
He shrugged. "I can explain that in more detail when I explain everything else."  
  
"Lex?"  
  
"Partly."  
  
She looked down at the porch. "Me?"  
  
"Yeah, you too," he said quietly. This truth thing came easier than he thought, and it just kept getting easier. It was nice to be able to just say everything. He liked it.  
  
"You know, it seems like a waste to-"  
  
She stopped talking and he realized why. She wanted him right then and she didn't know how to get it across. She was trying to hit on him. He bent down to kiss her lightly.  
  
"You don't love me," he said when he pulled back.  
  
"Not like you used to want me to."  
  
"And I don't love you. Not that way."  
  
She looked at him, face red from embarassment, but she didn't look down. "Do you want to come upstairs?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

**more...**


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**  
  
Things never got awkward. He followed her up the stairs and to her bedroom. Her eyes were shy but her hands were not. He helped her undress and was surprised at how attracted he was to her body. He could have sworn after falling for Lex he would stop being interested in women, but that just wasn't how things went.  
  
They had passionate sex as quietly as they could. Lana was surprised to find this was his first and he was surprised to find that it was not hers. Whitney and her had been closer than he thought.  
  
He and Lana lay in bed through the early hours of the morning talking. Some about his revelations but also a lot about Lana's life, which didn't surprise him. She always had been a talker and it was another good deterance. Anything to not know what Lex was doing right this moment. Anything to not think about Lex tuning out for hot sex with the Hardwick Whore.  
  
It was all nice until the moment the bedroom door opened and Gabe came in. Lana shrieked and Gabe shrieked and Clark tried to bury himself under the sheets. Gabe made a very polite and apologetic exit, closing the door and walking down the hall.  
  
"Does he always just come in," whispered Clark, suddenly blushing in places he didn't know could turn that color.  
  
"He wakes me up in the mornings that I have to get to the Talon early."  
  
Clark heard speaking in the hall.  
  
"Oh, my God, what do-"  
  
He clapped his hand over Lana's mouth and listened hard.  
  
_"-was nothing, Chloe. Don't worry about it."_  
  
"Shit," muttered Clark. "Chloe."  
  
Lana's eyes widened but she stayed quiet.  
  
_"Well, then why was everyone screaming."  
  
"I walked in on her changing."_  
  
Clark shut his eyes and uttered a silent 'thank you' to Gabe. He knew Chloe would be crushed if... if...  
  
Clark took his hand off of Lana's mouth, suddenly feeling a little guilty. Chloe was such a great person. "I'm gonna get home."  
  
"You're parents-"  
  
"Yeah, I know. They're gonna want to know where the hell I was. Listen is there anyway you can go distract Chloe?"  
  
Lana nodded. "Sure." She jumped out of bed and threw on her underwear and a bra. Clark watched as she grabbed a jean skirt and shimmied it up her slender hips then she was out the door leaving him to get dressed and get out. He hurried listening to their conversation.  
  
_"Can I borrow a shirt?"  
  
"You just cleaned all of yours!"  
  
"I know, but I'm bored with them. I want something different."  
  
"You bought like seven knew ones from The Pearl."_  
  
He grabbed his shoes and slipped them over his bare feet.  
  
_"I know, but I want something _different_." A pause. "And you have such a different style."_  
  
There was Chloe's soft spot. If anyone wanted anything from her all they had to do was mention her sense of style. She prided herself on that as much as being a Grade A objective journalist.  
  
_"Here, lemme find something."_  
  
Clark opened the door slowly and wanted so badly to just speed out. Gabe knew he was here, though. He peeked in Chloe's to see both girls were focused on something in the closet so he passed as quickly as possible.  
  
Gabe was waiting for him by the back door.  
  
Clark took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Mr. Sullivan."  
  
"You know my stance on post-marital sex. I could care less. If my baby wanted to have sex, I understand. You are all 18 and if it had to happen I suppose I would rather her have sex here than anywhere else. That way I could know she was safe and if anything ever went wrong, Lord forbid, I would be close. I'm sure it would be different with a boy, a son, but Chloe's my little girl."  
  
Clark took another breath, waiting.  
  
"Lana, however, is a guest here and, as much as I see her as a close family friend, she doesn't take precidence over, Chloe."  
  
Clark nodded. "No one does." His voice was soft but full of conviction. His parents were the same. No one came before him.  
  
"Damn right, son. Now what you did I can understand, especially for however long you've had your heart set on that girl. Hell, I'd probably congratulate the two of you if it wasn't for the fact that you put my Chloe in danger."  
  
Clark nodded.  
  
"You know how my girl feels about you."  
  
Clark looked at his feet, feeling more like shit then he ever had. The weight of just where he had done what he had done came crashing in on his shoulders. "I am so sorry, Mr Sullivan. I... I should have never came over. I didn't come here with that intention."  
  
"That doesn't matter to me. You know I look at you like a son, but I don't appreciate you putting me in such a predicament. I don't like having to lie to my own daughter."  
  
"I understand, sir."  
  
"Now, please, go home before she sees you here."  
  
Clark nodded and headed out the door. Leaving the house he paid particular attention to the soft mush of the weathered welcome mat, the groan of old but sturdy wood shifting underneath his feet, the crunch of the railroad gravel in the Sullivan's drive way. The way the sun peering up at a new day felt warm and rejuvinating, like vitamins for his soul. The way he could still smell the night jasmine in Gabe's mini-garden.  
  
Anything but how Chloe would have felt had she walked in on them.  
  
Lana came out the front door wearing one of Chloe's off the shoulder Bangal's tops and he realized that Chloe stopped wearing that 80's style in 7th grade. "Were you just going to walk?"  
  
He guestured with his hand and she nodded, understanding he was going to speed when he got the chance.  
  
"Lemme give you a ride."  
  
"No, thanks." He paused, a little afraid. "Where is-"  
  
"Shower."  
  
"Last night was nice. I mean, I wish we hadn't done it here-"  
  
Lana shoved her hands in her pockets. "I know."  
  
"It can never happen again."  
  
Lana nodded. "Yeah. Kind of a shame." She blushed and looked at him underneath her lashes. "You were really good."  
  
It was his turn to blush. "Thanks. You too. Very... active."  
  
She laughed. "Gee, thanks. Don't turn the charm up all the way there, Kent, I might melt."  
  
"I'm not very good at-"  
  
"I know. That's part of the reason I'm friends with you. Be careful on your way home. I'm gonna go in and get a speech."  
  
"It's not that bad."  
  
Lana waved and ran back into the house.  
  
There was quiet and he headed down the road. There was a cornfield not more than a mile from here. Until then all he had to do was not think about what he was going to say next time he saw Chloe. Or his parents. Or Lex.

**more...**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**  
  
"So, you and Lana, huh?"  
  
He was sitting in Dalton's Books with his new purchases, reading in one of the overstuffed comfy chairs. Then Lex came in and, really, he suddenly wasn't so comfortable.  
  
"Clark."  
  
He looked up, assaulted by Lex in uncharacterestically colorful garb. The crimson sweater beneath the black duster brought out his slate-hued eyes, and the cargo pants looked roomy and comfortable.   
  
_This must be his 'help Lana out at the Talon' casual,_ Clark thought with amusement. He was sure if he asked Lex would inform him that his shirt had cost about 5 times what he just spend on 6 books.  
  
"You talking today?"  
  
Clark shrugged, unsure about what to say, what he _could_ say about Lana. He was psyched to think he was not a virgin anymore, and it was with Lana so it wasn't meaningless sex persay, but at the same time not emotionally full of turmoil which, when it came to her, was a crapshoot and lucky.  
  
All he could really think about, though, was how good Lex looked in the soft lighting of his study, cruel hands leaving trails of irritated skin.  
  
Lex was confused. "Years of wanting her and you just- shrug it off."  
  
Clark shrugged again.  
  
"You guys were going heavy last night."  
  
He nodded. That they were.  
  
"And how come you didn't tell me about it?"  
  
Shrugging again, he tried not to smile and wondered how long it would take for him to get on Lex's usually unfrazzilable nerves.  
  
"What is this, don't feel like talking to me?"  
  
Shrug.  
  
"This is getting annoying, Clark." He said, and Clark realized Lex was unusually testy today.  
  
Shrug.  
  
"Talk to me."  
  
A shake of his head.  
  
"Fine." Lex stood. "I'm going to go help Lana set up for tonight."  
  
"Oh, come on," Clark started. "I was just kidding around."  
  
Lex took off his coat and Clark watched the sweater stretch flatteringly over his chest.  
  
**white skin, soft, hairless, Lex's mouth on a body that was entirely wrong for Clark's fantasies**  
  
Clark swallowed against a lump in his dry, dry throat. "It just happened last night," Clark started. "That's why I didn't say anything to you before. She just came out and talked to me..." How much was in the green to tell about Lana? Had her kiss been the entire plan, or was there more? Was he okay to tell Lex about the sex, or no? And how was it he and Lana spent four hours talking to each other and never once discussed this?  
  
"Came out and talked to you and now she's your girlfriend and you end up practically jumping her there? In the street?" Was that bitterness he heard in Lex's voice?  
  
_Hey, _Clark thought. _You're the one that started this girlfriend thing. You got yourself Bitchy Vicky._  
  
And then he realized that Lex hadn't asked what had happened with Clark the other night, why he has seemed to want to go for Vicky's jugular. Instead he was preoccupied with Clark's relationship with Lana. Was this the type of thing that Lana was talking about? That Clark should see as interest? As unrequitted love?  
  
"So how's _your_ girlfriend?" Clark asked, ignoring Lex's baiting question.  
  
There was a frown replaced by recognition after a few seconds. "You mean Vicky? Oh, she's gone back to Metropolis."  
  
Clark hadn't been expecting that. "Why was she here?"  
  
Lex shrugged and looked at Clark's bag. "Didn't let her get that far. Wasn't interested. She was going to stay over but when she started talking about her father's problems I told her I wasn't interested. She blamed me for only wanting sex and-"  
  
Lex cut himself off and looked at Clark.  
  
Clark shrugged. "I'm a big boy, I know what that word means."  
  
They was a flash of something in Lex's eyes before he looked away. "I know, I just-"  
  
"Did you?"  
  
Lex looked confused. "What?"  
  
"Want sex."  
  
"Not with her," Lex muttered. "No."  
  
Clark's stomach flipped. Did that mean what he wanted what Clark wanted? He could tell the older boy was uncomfortable because he picked up Clark's bag and went through it. "What was with you last night?"  
  
The question was soft, careful. "What do you mean?"  
  
"You were rude to Vicky."  
  
"She's a bitch."  
  
Lex shook his head, amused and perplexed. "I've never heard you refer to anyone of the opposite sex like that. Even Desiree."  
  
"Yeah, Desiree was screwed up. Vicky's a bitch. Didn't you say you had the pictures of her and your father?" He wanted to ask how Lex could even sleep with her again, it didn't quite make it passed his lips.  
  
Lex was quite.  
  
"Well?"  
  
Still quiet.  
  
"You'd be dumb to let a tramp like that back in your life."  
  
"Who am I supposed to let in?" Lex whispered and Clark felt the older boy's sadness envelope him. Lex felt so alone he'd take Vicky over solitude?  
  
"Jesus, Lex. You're kidding, right?"  
  
"Fine, Clark, you're such a great judge of character." Was that sarcasm refering to the fact that he hung out with Lex? Or was he hearing his father's voice? "You try and be me for a day, Clark. If you find a person with genuine interest in me, I'll give you anything in the world you want."  
  
_I want you._ "I have genuine interest in you."  
  
"What is with this new you?"  
  
"'New' me?"  
  
Lex held up a book from Clark's bag and a killer smirk replaced the sadness on his handsome face. It also broke the moment Clark felt they were moving toward. "Constance Bennett?"  
  
Clark blushed. "Lana says she's good."  
  
"Uh-huh. For housewives."  
  
"Everyone needs a little romance, Lex." Clark looked at him for a moment trying dechipher whether Lex got his point. Lex refused to look at him. What was this about? Lex seemed off his game today.  
  
Clark stood up and grabbed the book from Lex, partially to take away Lex's excuse to not look at him and partly to regain a sense of manhood. "And Lana's not my girlfriend."  
  
He didn't miss _that_ look. Though fleeting he saw Lex's eyes. Unsure relief, hope, need. Now was his turn to play the situation for what is was worth. He grabbed his own coat and his bag of purchases. "She won't ever be."  
  
He didn't look at Lex, didn't nod for him to follow, just headed out and felt Lex's presence right behind him. "Don't say that, Clark, it'll happen."  
  
He noticed the 'Mr. Rogers' quality in Lex's voice and stopped. Lex bumped into him from behind and Clark turned to face him.  
  
"Might want to give me warn-"  
  
"I don't want her, Lex." He searched the older, boy's dark and weary eyes. How had he not noticed Lex's tired demeanor, the bags under the eyes carefully covered by a little concealer? "I love her, yes, but she's a great friend and will never be anything more."  
  
"If you want-"  
  
"You didn't hear me." His voice was thick and he realized he was being a little vehement for the moment, but he was desperate to make Lex realize something, anything. He didn't want to waste anymore time. What if a real girl came into Lex's life? Someone from his past, from when Lex was in college or highschool. Someone that could be everything Lex thought he needed.  
  
"I don't want her, Lex. I don't want or need her, or look at her like that. What I want is y-"  
  
Lex looked up sharply, and Clark realized this was his chance.  
  
"You want?"  
  
Clark bit his bottom lip.

**more...**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**  
  
He was in public and there were too many things that could go wrong. He looked into Lex's poorly disguised, eager eyes and it gave him hope that he even came this close, that Lex had not missed what he'd almost said.  
  
He could see the desire in Lex's eyes fighting with the facade of normality. There was a hopeful curve to his lips. Clark looked him up and down, slowly, wanting to give Lex at least a hint. Something, because if _he_ could make the next move, Clark might be able to relax.  
  
"You want?"  
  
Clark sighed and turned around. "Coffee. What about you?"  
  
He heard Lex's footsteps behind him. "Yeah, that would be good." Quiet, but he still felt the soft punch of words filled with disappointment. "So you're... you're over Lana or something? How did that happen?"  
  
"I found someone else," he stated bluntly. He liked this new him; the truth was intoxicating. It was so different to be able to just say what he needed to. It jarred him to realize he had Vicky to thank.  
  
The Talon was empty, but there was soft music in the background. Sarah McLachlan, one of Lana's favorites. And it was on 'Good Enough' a song that always reminded him of Lex and-  
  
Empty. The word finally hit him. Lana had told him 9 and don't be late. They were on time, a miracle for him. And it was empty.  
  
Empty but for him and Lex.  
  
He turned and was shocked to see Lex biting his bottom lip, looking at him with full on desire. Lex turned away embarassed and started trying to distract the moment with a box of decorations on a table nearby. He distanced himself from Clark in four short steps.  
  
There were too many mistakes to be made here, and they all started with ignoring what was between them. It was the same mistake he'd been making for years now.  
  
"I want to stop being lonely," he started and Lex put his hands on the formica table top. The older boy was staring into the box as if the answer to life was in there. "I want to stop wondering what could have happened 'only if'. I want to start taking chances."  
  
"How many times-" Lex started, his voice cracking a little. "-have I told you-"  
  
"I want a lot of things, Lex."  
  
He saw the boy grip the table at the sound of his name. Clark stepped forward until he was two inches from Lex's back. When his hands came up to Lex's hips, the young man jumped. Clark rubbed Lex's lower back lightly with his thumbs. The sweater was thinner than he would have guessed and he could feel the strong muscles there.  
  
"Turn around, Lex."  
  
Lex faced him and for a moment the only thing Clark could think of was those lips and putting his on them again. Only this time they would be warm and alive and kissing him back.  
  
He didn't miss the heated desire in Lex's eyes. Clark stepped forward and Lex backed up against the table, leaving less than an inch between them and shaking the table. "I had sex with Vicky last night," he blurted.  
  
Clark shrugged. "So?"  
  
"I... I didn't want it to be her."  
  
Clark nodded. There was no room. Lex's eyes were lidded and his breathing was shallow.  
  
"I know what it is to be lonely." Lex's eyes began to shine a little and Clark remembered the sadness in the bookstore. He ducked his head, brushing his lips against Lex's ear. "Tell me what you want, Lex."  
  
He shivered and shook his head "I..."  
  
Clark's hand cupped his head. "Just tell me."  
  
"I... I want you."  
  
Clark took Lex's mouth with his and for a second, a single second, he was filled with warmth. Lips pressed desperately to his and Lex's breath hitched. Hands came up to his jeans and tugged him close. He could feel hardness already in Lex's pants. This felt like nothing else. He melted into Lex's form, his mouth filled with possibility. He licked Lex's top lip, the scar separating two uneven halves. Lex panted and parted his mouth, thrusting his tongue in.  
  
The door to The Talon crashed opened with a loud bang and Clark jumped away from Lex, fearful that this was not Lana. And it wasn't.  
  
It was Chloe. With a pair of his socks.  
  
_What is she doing with my socks?_  
  
He saw Lex scramble to get behind the table with the box to hide his erection and Clark took a deep breath. "Chloe."  
  
Something was wrong. Her eyes were filled with tears and it looked like she had been crying for sometime. "Don't you, 'Chloe' me."  
  
His socks. Why-  
  
"Oh, God."  
  
He was barefoot. He left his socks at Lana's.  
  
"Oh, fuck, Chloe, listen."  
  
"Did you think I wouldn't find out?"  
  
Lex looked startled at this very unChloe like outburst.  
  
"Well, I mean-"  
  
"Listen," she started moving forward. "I'm not your girlfriend, I understand. It's not like you cheated on me."  
  
Lex's eyes looked sharply over to him, narrow and suspicious.  
  
_Fuck, fuck, fuck! Not now, Chlo, please!_  
  
"But next time you fuck Lana, could you do the girl who has admitted she's in love with you a big favor and not do it in the next room?"  
  
Lana burst into The Talon and her face fell, realizing she was too late to stop anything.  
  
Chloe threw his socks at him and left, running into Lana's shoulder and pushing her housemate out of her way.  
  
"Shit," whispered Lana.  
  
Clark cautiously met Lex's eyes, seeing so much hurt there.  
  
_How am I going to fix this?_

**more...**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine**  
  
"Lex, I-" Lex's dark eyes clouded over. Numbness settled in and Clark panicked. How much ground could he lose here? Because he knew he couldn't afford to lose any. "Lex, I swear I was going-"  
  
"When?"  
  
"I never said anything to you because-"  
  
"_When!_" Lex's voice was strained and for a moment he looked out of control. Anger was in his eyes and Clark was glad for anything but the numbness. Lionel put that god-damned numbness there and Clark was fucked if he did too.  
  
He licked his lips. _The truth shall set you free._ But what kind of freedom was it and did he even want it?  
  
"When?"  
  
"Last night. Well, early this morning."  
  
Lex recoiled from the shock.  
  
"It's not what you think, Lex. I didn-t-"  
  
"Don't bother, Clark."  
  
"I want to explain." His voice was on the edge of desperation and whining but he didn't care. "Please."  
  
"Not necessary." Lex brushed passed Clark and saw the look on Lana's face. He stopped dead, recognition spreading across his face and CLark could tell Lex realized Lana knew about the two of them. Maybe he couldn't guess what she knew, but he knew she understood there was more than friendship between them.  
  
Lana looked at him, eyes sad and shiny with unshed tears. Tears for him and Clark. "I'm so sorry, Lex."  
  
"Sorry for what?" Clark hated this. Lex was playing it off, trying to save face, keep a little dignity or something. Trying not to lose everything at once.  
  
Clark took a step forward. "Lex-"  
  
Lex backed towards the door. "I'll leave you two lovebirds alone. See you guys tonight."  
  
"We're not-"  
  
But he was gone.  
  
Lana fell in a controlled collapse to the floor. "Go after him."  
  
Clark had to breathe in and out to just keep from throwing something, breaking something, using his increased strength to break a hole through the floor to bury himself in. "I can't."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because Chloe's in a worse state at the moment and I love them both."  
  
"You don't want-"  
  
"She needs me."  
  
"The _last_ thing she needs is you right now, Clark."  
  
He shook his head. "No, she's different then you, Lana, and this is a different situation. You always need your space. _She_ needs to be put above everyone else for once. Especially after what we did last night. She needs to get it all out."  
  
"Do you regret it?"  
  
"No, just the when and where of it. And the leaving my socks part, that sucked too."  
  
Lana smiled. "So you are going to risk life and limb to go and talk to a scorned woman?"  
  
He walked over and sat down next to Lana, wrapping his arm around her. "I have to. I can't lose her, Lana."  
  
Lana nodded. "You're a good friend. And maybe you're right. Maybe Chloe does need to be put first. But I wouldn't even know where to begin apologizing."  
  
"I know the feeling."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
He shrugged, not able to get the double expressions out of his head. Betrayed Chloe. Betrayed Lex. "What am I going to do?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I guess I'll do what I've been doing recently. Start out with the truth and hope it gets me somewhere I don't hate being."

**more...**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**  
  
"I can't for the life of me figure why you should forgive me," he started, watching her form slouch at the sound of his voice. It was obvious she didn't want him here.  
  
"Go. Away."  
  
Very obvious.  
  
"Other than the fact that we're friends."  
  
"You're not allowed to use that word, Clark. I don't think you understand the meaning."  
  
"Oh, yes I do. And friends forgive each other for stupid acts that unintentionally hurt."  
  
She spun around, her eyes red and swollen. "How could you, Clark?" Her voice was raw and she was shouting but it came out no more than a whisper. Something gave him the impression she'd done quite a bit of shouting at Lana.  
  
It hurt him to know that she wanted to be with him. That she wanted to kiss him and open up to him and have him tell her the truth about everything. He stuck his hands in his pockets, but never looked down, never lost eye contact. It was too precious and without it, she might shut him out completely. "I wasn't thinking."  
  
"Obviously."  
  
"I didn't go over there to-" he cut himself off, but not in time. Chole's bottom lip trembled. Despite her strong independence and willful attitude, she was still someone who just needed to be held.  
  
He crossed the room slowly, delicately, as if walking on a trapeze line, ducking under a "Torch's Headquarters" banner that Pete had hung. They were seniors and not going to be here much longer, so they were leaving their mark in every corner.   
  
"You're so special, Chloe."  
  
She snorted derisively.  
  
"You are," he said allowing the firmness of his belief to come out. He crouched next to her and wiped a tear away. "The only thing in the world I want right now is to take away your pain."  
  
Her bottom lip trembled again. "I wish it didn't hurt, too. But it does."  
  
"Chloe, you are one of the most important people in my life and if I could go back in time and stop what I did where I did it, I would. But it's not like I can reverse time."  
  
"You'd try for Lana." She cringed. "I hate being that girl, Clark!" she yelled. "I hate it with all that I am. You turn me into the thing I despise most, the stupid little infatuated teenybopper with a head full of clouds. Someone who turns everything into a way to think about the person they love. Do you think I want to be here pretending to work but not able to get you off my mind?"  
  
"No, am I'm sorry I can't return the favor."  
  
"I don't want you to feel pity on me."  
  
"I don't. I am geniunely sorry that I don't feel the same way because I would be one hell of a lucky guy."  
  
She didn't say anything, but gave him a half smile. That was the personification of his hope.  
  
"I love you like the sister I never had and those perverted thoughts about every now and then."  
  
She slapped his arm. "That's disgusting."  
  
"I know." He took a breath. "Can I trust you with something?"  
  
Her nod was good enough for him. She was still hurting but he was showing her genuine remorse and love and attention. He was making it better. And that elated him. "There are several things I want to talk to you about eventually, but right now I want you to know, and this is the truth: I am not in love with Lana."  
  
She frowned. "What? You've been like crazy about her forever."  
  
He shrugged. "It went away. Sometimes the thing you want the most isn't what you thought it was. You built it up and up and you find out that it's something completely different."  
  
"So she disappointed you?"  
  
"This isn't about last night and it's not about disappointment. I think she's great, just not what I thought she was." He thought about the way he felt for Lex. Lust but that was a secondary thing, an added perk. Just Lex's presence was calming and exhilirating and made it easier to breathe. He wouldn't just say he'd do anything for Lex. He _did_ do anything for Lex. If he had the chance to be normal or have Lex in his life he'd pick Lex without thinking about it.  
  
"And now that I look back on my teenage years, I think it was more an hormonal thing than anything else." Chloe looked surprised. "Listen, if I thought Lana felt anything for me beyond the friendship, last night would have never happened. She's lonely and I'm lonely and it wasn't about romance or love or anything... It was like a way to build a bridge over a void instead of filling it."  
  
Chloe eyed him. "And you wouldn't do that with me because you know about my feelings."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Well, it just so happens I'm not crazy about you anymore."  
  
He laughed and she smiled, clearly relieved. Whether it was because he'd laughed at her joke or the fact that he didn't love Lana more, he didn't know. In spite of everything there was laughter, and it was thanks to her.  
  
He opened his arms and she fell into the hug. "I love you, Chloe and I'm sorry this relationship isn't what you want it to be."  
  
"I'll live. Are you helping Lana with this thing tonight?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"I told her I would too." She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let's go."  
  
"Is everything ok?"  
  
"Inside?" She shook her head. "But it will be someday. I really wanted to stay mad at you forever, but it figures. You show up with your Clark-eyes and your Clark-hugs. Let's just go."  
  
"Well, wait. There's one more thing I want to tell you." This was going to be the hard part. Would she still be his friend after this?  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's something about me that you'd probably never thought before."  
  
"What? You're building this up like you're some kind of serial killer or mass murderer or birthday party clown or something."  
  
He took a breath. You had to know just when to fold, the song said, and this was where friendships were sealed in gold or burned in heartbroken flames. "I'm gay."  
  
She looked a little taken back, but then shook her head. "No, you're bi, Clark."  
  
"Well, I would have to-"  
  
"You stare at my breasts in Eng Lit III and you had sex with a girl last night."  
  
Now that was two uncomfortable topics, and just where was that corner he wanted to crawl into?  
  
"Didn't think I'd noticed?"  
  
He only had the strength to shake his head, still not looking at her.  
  
Chloe grabbed her keys and stood up. "At least it's not as obvious as the way you stare at Lex's ass." She passed him, heading toward the door. Without turning to look at him, she whispered, "I thought you were going to tell me why the meteors make you sick."

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	11. Chapter Eleven

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the purpose of this chapter Chloe didn't actually guess that she kissed Clark thanks to Kyle Tippet in 'Hug'. It was mentioned that the folks under the influence had no memory of what happened, and therefore I am taking it a different way. Clark told Pete who mentioned it to Lana which explains her asking Clark. Chloe was just uncomfortable with a vague feeling she did something embarassing.**

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**Chapter Eleven**  
  
Chloe refused to look at him and Clark was thinking of something to say when Pete snuck up behind him and tapped his shoulder. "Man, I have GOT to talk to you later."  
  
Pete, the ever inconspicuous one, winked and when Pete winked... Well, it was the most unnatural thing Clark had ever seen. It made him look like a Furby doll with one eye broken, on rapid blink mode.  
  
"I can't believe you never told me." Chloe hissed beside him. The banners for Lana's Amateur Singing Night were coming along slowly to say the least.  
  
Pete, completely oblivious, went on. "I mean about our 'homework'." Clark laughed at his friend's complete inability to lie about anything, or to hint with a slight subtle intonation.  
  
"You're unbelievable, Pete, you know that? If anyone ever suspected a thing, they would have thrown a net over my head." Pete was making 'shushing' gestures and eyeing Chloe. Clark shook his head and went back to the banner. "She knows."  
  
"Hey!" The boy looked truly upset. "You told me I'd be there when you told her," he whispered.  
  
"'Her' is sitting right here and can hear you," snapped Chloe.  
  
"I wanted to see you deck him. Did you deck him?"  
  
"No, stupid, but now I wish I had."  
  
"Are you mad at me too?"  
  
"Why the hell would I be?"  
  
"Chloe's not mad about the alien thing," Clark added.  
  
Pete was clearly perplexed. "Well, then what's with the-"  
  
"Clark never bothered to tell me that Kyle Tippet made me kiss him."  
  
"He didn't make you, he just-"  
  
She glared at him and Pete nudged him. "He made her, man. He made her."  
  
Chloe's gaze burned a trail to Pete. "Thanks, Pete. Really."  
  
He grinned. "No problem, babe. I've got your back."  
  
"Now I'm mad at you, too. Grab the damn glitter and draw something happy."  
  
Lana passed by and, trying to be careful and nice around Chloe. They'd only recently talked while Clark was hanging up banners. There was lots of crying and girly hugs. He thought it looked a lot easier than his had been.  
  
Lana looked over her roomie's shoulder. "Oh, hey, what are you drawing?"  
  
"Well," Chloe started. "You said people dancing."  
  
"Right. But vague. Stick figures and stuff."  
  
"They're vague."  
  
"Is that one wearing a belt?"  
  
"No, that's blood."  
  
"Oh." A second of silence. "Explain why it's blue then."  
  
Clark rolled his eyes. "Same reason it's a green person. Tell her why the person is green, Chloe."  
  
"Because it's not a person. It's Clark."  
  
Lana looked at him. "You saw it already?"  
  
"No, she likes pointing out the things she's drawing. She's brought out a killer story."  
  
Pete eyed Clark once Lana's attention was back on Chloe's Pyschotic Glitter People. He was worried. "What the hell, man?"  
  
"Don't worry. Lana knows too."  
  
"Well, thanks for keeping me up on current affairs."  
  
Clark shrugged and went back to his part of the banner. Normal glitter people dancing normal glitter dances. No bloody glitter alien people dying, here. Nope.  
  
"What about that one," Lana pointed. "Why is it's arm longer?"  
  
"Because it's a knife, not an arm. It's stabbing me, Lana."  
  
Chloe grinned.  
  
"Where do you think the blood from?" he muttered. Chloe was taking this Kyle Tippet thing poorly.  
  
"What are you," Pete started. "Six?" Chloe looked up at him and before Clark could catch the look, Pete stood. "Ok, I'm going to do something in that area all the way across the Talon. That okay with you guys?"  
  
Everyone nodded and Chloe gleefully turned back to her drawing.  
  
For a few minutes everyone worked quietly on their projects. Besides the errant creepy Chloe chuckle, there was just the sound of Lana's radio and Lana in the kitchen as she scooted around with food for the party, all made from Home Ec, projects from freshmen in school in return for her not bugging Mrs. Gleason to perform that night. Clark had just begun to calm himself and almost liked the glue smell and glitter, well, glittering and his overly glue-pasted hands.  
  
He should have known better.  
  
"Why is that pink person touching that green person's belt?"  
  
Lex's voice, so close and so unattached, made him jump. Chloe looked up at him. "That's me stabbing, Clark."  
  
Lex just nodded. "With what?"  
  
"A knife."  
  
"It would have to be a big one."  
  
Chloe nodded.  
  
"I think the blood should be dripping on the floor, not just soaking his shirt."  
  
"Okay, really, that's enough," Clark interjected.  
  
"Like in a puddle?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Clark put the jar of his glitter down. "Lex can I talk to you?"  
  
Lex shrugged and walked back outside. Clark followed.  
  
"I'm impressed. I don't know how you calmed Chloe but, shit. I never saw that coming."  
  
"Lex, I-"  
  
"Did you have sex with her too?"  
  
Normally, Clark would have been mad and a little hurt. But Lex sounded jealous and upset and that just made Clark feel like a possession in the best of ways.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lex said quietly.  
  
"I want to talk to you."  
  
"I don't know what there is to talk about."  
  
"I don't love, Lana."  
  
"But you fucked her."  
  
"You fucked Vicky."  
  
"This isn't about me."  
  
"I'm not making about you, Lex. I'm making a point."  
  
"And here's mine." The older boy stepped closer and Clark noticed he was wearing jeans, a brown knit sweater Martha had given him last Christmas, and an old beaten leather jacket. Clark had never seen him look sexier and wondered just why Lex was dressing so oddly as of late. Casual just to help Lana?  
  
Clark would have to find work on the farm for him.  
  
"You wouldn't have had sex with her last night if you didn't feel something for her."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Then tell me why you had sex with her."  
  
"Because you had sex with Vicky."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I would have never even went over to her house if I hadn't been tossing and turning at the thought of that whore touching you when I should have been." Snow on the tip of Lex's nose startled him and he reached over and picked it up. It melted on his fingertips.  
  
The intimate touch seemed to undo Lex. "Then what was with that kiss and shoving her up against the truck?!"  
  
"I don't know, Lana made me kiss her. I guess she thought it would make you jealous. The truck thing..." he shrugged. "Lana's hot and I was disappointed and horny."  
  
Lex walked away from him then back again. "Do you have any idea how fucking weird these last 24 hours have been? Ever since you came here last night, things have been weird. You're saying and doing things that make me think you-"  
  
"I'm not on crack, Lex," he interupted. He knew Lex was thinking of the times with the red meteors. "I'm on life, as stupid and "afterschool special" as I am sure that sounds. I'm tired of this- this thing between us and not ever doing anything about it."  
  
Lex was trying to hide his hope, his emotions, but he was too strung out. Clark could tell he was softening. "And I suppose that-"  
  
"Lex, try this on for weird. _Shake Rattle and Roll_ is playing inside there and I wanna freaking sing a musical out here thanks to the fact that you haven't pushed me away because of this afternoon; I wanna sing because of that incredibly sexy look in your eyes after I said sex with Lana happened because I wanted you. It's snowing a month early. There are psychotic, shiny people killing me inside the Talon, and I think Chloe might need honest to god psychiatric help. Lana and I had sex last night and if that isn't weird enough, now all of my friends except you know my secrets. And that needs to change."  
  
Lex looked pissed. "I don't want to know your secrets because of, well because... of something... I DON'T KNOW!" Lex yelled and Clark could tell the last straw was forthcoming. He grabbed Lex by the arm and pulled him into the Talon, past his friends and into the kitchen where Lana was pulling the last of the SaranWrap off a bowl of tapioca pudding.  
  
He shoved Lex up against the wall ajacent to Lana's table of yummies and kissed him. Soft lips beneath his parted enough to let out a gasp and Clark took advantage of that breach. He pounded Lex's mouth with his and Lex just stood there, taking it.  
  
There was a sigh from the other side of the room, reminding them they were not alone. Lex squirmed to get away, pushing on Clark. Clark backed off. "What?!" he asked annoyed that now there was almost two feet of space between his mouth and Lex's.  
  
Lex looked to Lana to explain that they had company, but she wasn't upset. She was smiling with fingers pressed to her lips and tears in her eyes.  
  
Now Lex was confused. "What th-"  
  
"I told you, they all know my secrets."  
  
"But-" Lex's mouth was covered by Clark's and melted into the kiss. Clark could read his mind. 'Fuck it.'  
  
Clark heard Lana closing the door to the kicthen and suddenly they were alone. He felt his face flush and his groin stir. Lifting Lex, he pushed the older boy up onto the countertop.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, farmboy! Remember where we are."  
  
Clark growled and pulled Lex's leather jacket down, but not off. It restricted the movement of Lex's arms, which was exactly what Clark wanted.  
  
"We're practically in public!"  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"Yeah, that shouldn't surprise me. I figure I'll just go with the flow around you."  
  
Clark nodded. "That will help your sanity, believe me." He nipped one of Lex's ears with his teeth. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to kiss you? To do this?" His hands slid down Lex's back and he grinned at the shudder they caused.  
  
Lex nodded. "Probably about half as long as I've wanted to. So... How does this end?"  
  
"It doesn't."  
  
Lex laughed. "I meant in here, right now."  
  
"Let me show you."  
  
**THE END**

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